You Dream of 'RE'-Membering a Gay japanese Sedan at WIERD...

Tuesday January 17th, 2006

The WIERD is becoming quite curious about our new 40-something very rare neighbor in thee world of Bushwack.  At first we thought she was just another whiny Williamsburg liberal whom always knows which video artists are relieving themselves('pro-jecting') in which 'project' rooms and says things like 'yeah Zizek's wonderful, he's like a stand up comedian!', but then we noticed she has quite an impressive collection of slightly dirty 90's print sweaters she wears proudly in a nonironic way and seems to have a slight facial tick where she flips her silver highlighted hair out of her face like Steve Caballero in 1983, while making a sound somewhere between a burp and a laugh, so now we suspect she's a potentially overeducated pleasure seeker who 'cant be bothered' by the world, maybe even had an aversion for the coldwaves at one point in her life...Anyway she's the only one on my block who has a shittier car than me which has this truly amazing bumper sticker on it that says 'my other car is gay'...so I had to meet her...'Hi I was just admiring your very rare bumper sticker, I was just wondering when you knew your car was gay?'...'Oh Every time I get inside him honey, he's a real fukin bitchy queen, wont even start on me this week'...'Wow thats cool my car's gay too!  See I used to have this little rubber plant, I mean it was real you know, and her name was Cindy but then she died cause I got too drunk at WIERD and forgot to bring her inside and now her ghost stayed in the car forever and now the car's named Cindy and she's gay'...'Oh thats nice honey, guess if you're always goin inside a little Japanese lesbian that makes you a dildo, so its no wonder your plant was 'a rubber one'(oh shit she's WIERD too!, time for the another very rare battle), see thats why I prefer a guys as Im not made of rubber, Im the real thing!'...'Yeah but I think Im doin a pretty good job cayse even though I 'used a rubber' she always 'turns-on' right away!'...'That wasnt you sweety it was 'the rubber', and now the rubbers gone, so yr fucked'(god she's good...)...'Wait a minute, if your car's a gay dude how do you manage to get inside him?'...'Cause i dont wear a rubber honey, we go bear-back every time'...'Wow so if you would have put Cindy in your car it would never get turned on?  I find that impossible to believe, but then again you never saw Cindy'...'No dahling, you're forgetting that a car's 'eyes', the headlights, cant see whats goin on inside it, so it doesnt know whos in there. So see when you get in there you're more just like an 'idea' in her head, and since you brought a 'rubber' dildo lucky for you it worked'...'Wow so you're saying cars never know who's turning them on?  thats so complicated'...'No Im saying precisely thee opposite dahling...See by you being 'in their head' they've 'created' YOU, and the only reason you're 'inside' them is they 'thought you 'IN' '...'So OK, think I get it now, if my car's a lesbian and she 'thinks me 'IN' ', I can go into her head, but I can only 'bring my head' if its rubber, otherwise she'll 'turn-off' which doesnt seem fair, makes me feel like one of those crash test dummies on TV!'...'Honey when you're inside your car's mind you're not real, yr just a literalization of her thoughts, so see thats why those crash test videos are really just another ACTUAL literalization of every Lesbian car's fantasy of killin the straight man!, just lucky Cindy saved yr sorry ass, HA!'...'No yr wrong, cause those 'dolls', which by the way suggests they ARE women 'inside', never die cause they're rubber, and they can thus use them over and over, thats why the dummies are always smiling, they never die and always turn everyone on all the time, god what a life!'...'Yeah but its not reality, its just TV which is just fantasy, so the video image of the doll is just a fukin straight man's fantasy of thinkin he can turn every hot lesbian on all the time, and the fact the cars always die in the end is an acknowledgement of both his misogyny AND his homophobia.'...'No that doesnt make sense cause it implies that the videos are made by and for the cars to watch, and cars cant think!'...'God honey how dense are you, I just told you everything that goes on inside your sexy little car IS your car's thoughts, you're in her fukin head for Christ sake!, and the only reason you're OK is that your little rubber-lesbian-ghost friend fooled your car into 'thinkin' she's gettin the 'real' thing', and evry time you drive yr just allegorizin yr own castration!, cause she 'thinks you' without the member that you have, like I always say honey, if you GOT a member you cant BE a member!'...'Yes but you can 'RE'-Member the car by bringin a plant into the 'thought-session' and like me be the lesbian everyone always tells me I shoulda been!'...'Darling you can never 'RE'-Member a lesbian, even if she's a firce little golden 1988 Japanese Lesbian, because for lesbians there's no 'Member' in the first place, so there's nothin to 'RE', and this is gettin too WIERD, even for me, up in thee tree, where I am FREE!!!'...see ya later Lesbo-man...(God she's amazing I gotta get her to come to WIERD)...Very Rare 4ever!!!

Oh yeah someone from Paper magazine's takin photos tonite so come on down and be very rare if you wanta gett all glossy!

Pieter and Glenn reenact thee lesbian phantasy of 'RE'-Membering!!!
Tuesday, January 17th, 2006, 11pm-4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour is the time yr car doesnt know you both ARE and HAVE a 'Member'!, plus tonite a special Frozen Autumn retrospective, best wave band ever from Milano!, Midnight-1am!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfinfo:(718)387-3182