The Left Made you Write that You Slept with yr Ant in the WIERD...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So this week in the tryalls and tribyou'lay-shuns' of the Very Rare ways of the WIERD, IT was suggested at the WIERD staff meeting that IT was definitely important that this week we send out a preview of this week's invite with a type-O, i.e.(which as an 'i.e.' VR expression seems more than 'appropriate' here) that thee 'i.e' be reversed to its old skool early Southside years spelling and the WIERD return, for no other (non-Japanese in this case) sake than the exploration of WIERD demographic pleasures, to being denoted as 'WEIRD'...fathinating right...pleasantly enough from our small cross section of experimental emails with this VR miss-take(literalizing the cold-synth IN-SEX about to occur), we received several quite angry responses suggesting the likes of 'You stupid fucks you spelled WIERD right, you guys don't even know how YOU spell WIERD!' At first glance this could be a slight bore but its actually a bit complicated...even though type 'O' is far from very rare and as is the case with all the world most preeminent 'abstract' diseases that 'I didn't even know I had IT! WOW!, I thought I was type-A...IT, as is always the case, is actually quite complicated...

You see something 'literally' Very Rare about the WIERD is the fact that largely IT has become ITself by the impossible fact that IT IS ITself...and the WIERD is quite sure IT is the only word in the VR world in which this is the case - 'WIERD is WEIRD because it is WIERD'...this is really infact discursively impossible, as you certainly cannot say 'Cold is cold because it is cold'...In other worlds, the WIERLD stands alone, self-defined by its frozen cold 'purity in redundancy', the ultimate resistance to the world 'outside' itself...thus the hundreds of Frenchwave bootlegs IT sees when IT looks down at ITs boots below(strange thing being that everyone sees thses 'bootlegs' when they look down at their boots , so why does noone know anything about Frenchwave in this Sit-He???)

But seriously, the WIERD's mysterious entry into the dark synth cavern of world of the redundant came obviously by its feeling for a need to explore the obvious presence of private re:pieted acts of incest within the hip-hop community, quite obvious from the word ITself - 'RE:Done da Aunt'. The WIERD has always had a slight feeling one could overcome, and thus (psychoanalytically) 'transfer' the implicit discomfort of sleeping with one's Aunt by picturing its phonetic absurd equivalent in the process - sleeping with one's Ant, obviously(though entomologically coldwave hot(!)...) sadly slightly impossible, and then after said sick-he event is finished the whole potentially damnaging thoughts could easily be put to rest/'forgotten' simply by realizing what just happened simply logickally 'could not have', and thus obviously 'did not', and not because of the obvious - that there's no possible way to have intercourse with an Ant, but rather the fact that I don't have an Aunt because I've grown up and my daze of insect collecting are long over - all my Aunts have gone away...to be well-done in the Very Rare Dutchwave 'I before E' world...

This really is a sad fact as the WIERD once had one of the preeminent insect collections in the coldwave world, and as is so often the case with all things pleasurably WIERD and perverse, the WIERD sold ITs Ant farm with the onset of the pressures of leftism that set in with latent academic adolescence. One day the WIERD - setting down the piles of Bell Hooks and Donna Harraway essays fresh-man 101 classes demanded - looked at ITs Aunt farm and began to feel the torturous feelings of 'participation in thee tyranny of patriarchy' - 'oh shit I'm 'controlling' all these women(who, even worse, are all also related to me!), I'm such a horrible person, I feel so guilty' - generally always the logick the left uses to persuade us to march in ITs army inherently designed to obviously always be 'right' - and thus 'wrong' as the all-too-telling 'literal' motto of a certain leftist hip-hop cinematic landmark 'Do the RIGHT thing' - (I.E. don't sleep witcha Aunt YO! - dat shit's fukin busted!) makes quite clear...

That was a very sad day indeed, the WIERD sat alone in ITs dirty little room, Eazy-E blasting in the coldwave Aunt-March afternoon, drilling this 'liberal-guilt-inducing idea' that though the E can do whatever IT wants, the E must 'do the right thing' now and return to ITs place behind the 'I' in order to 'rebecome' ITself once again, and feel a sense of thee 'I inducing' 'self' in general - 'I must be a good person, I must make the WEIRD become WIERD again, and I'm not a tyrannical patriarch like Spike and all the other babbling liberals say, because even though I slept with all my hundreds of pretty little Aunts every night here in my little dark synth bedroom and we both loved every cold-guitar-romantic second of IT, I now no longer 'own' them, they are free, the Aunts have become Ants, and as that heroicly perverse Ant-fuck-her Eazy-E has always made the WIERD feel - thee 'E' can go anywhere you want but you can never have the Very Rare pleasures of the RE:donedaAunt world unless the WIERD is WEIRD...and the Aunts proudly Marched away from their little WEIRD plexiglass terrarium into the cold sunshine, back into the WIERD world, and thee 'I' watched in sadness, for even though it was about to re-become ITself and thus (supposedly)feel at peace inside, IT was simply feeling the loss of the IT in thee 'I'...all those lovely nights we spent together are now gone, I've done the right thing and they have LEFT me, I'm alone with my Coke Zero, Net Zero, conceptual art monographs(art-zero) and all the other sad signs of the meaningless abstract substanceless 'ground-zero'(more on that next week...) world...and finally now I can call my uncle and let him have his way with me as he's always wanted for though an 'Uncle farm' is quite impossible to imagine, now at least the liberals will re-love me because I'm no longer hetero but rather very 'Right', thereby also Very Wrong, but at least still Very Rare...and WIERD forever...

Pieter, Josh Blacklist, and Cowboy Mark spin the frozen Cold pleasures of the Free-Ant-Love Revolution!!!
Wednesday, April 11th 10pm-4am
(Happy Hour and Uniton records Svedish Wave Retrospective Midnight-1am!!!)
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
131 Chrystie St.(@Delancey)
J train to Bowery, F to Delancey
Info:(212)226-5708
http://www.wierdrecords.com/