Invisible Transplants Obviously Make Women 'Themselves' at WIERD...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The forbidden pleasures of the Dark Synth world return this week as WIERD welcomes back Miss Liz Weldelbo and Martial Canterel of Xeno and Oaklander...don't fear the pleasures of the WIERD...

The WIERD has in the past reminded the world that there's always more money to be made by claiming one is on 'The Left' politically, in fact IT would argue this is precisely where all 'potential' capital lives these daze, and Hollywood is obviously no exception. The sadness of this and its consequences of the relentless and embarrassingly 'liberal' re-makes of classic films became clearer than ever when the WIERD sat through as much of 2006's 'The Wicker Man', every little witchy coldwave kids fave film ever. So they get uber-douchebag morons Stallone and Jude Law in for frozen cold studs Christopher Lee and Michael Caine, and decide now the Pagan God is a woman and its in NYC - thus the film dissappears into the ever IT-friendly world of abstraction sine qua non...

The WIERD found a new Very Rare fact to love though in this mess which was that the narrative involves the loss of a hare(thecute little VR animal), and the fact that the film was made in 1973 is VR NOW because 2007 is right about the time that many men born in that year begin to lose their hare as well - age 34. So thus the fact that experiencing this 'Hare Loss' in 'The Wicker Man' of 2006 is unpleasant makes complete sense as noone wants to lose their hare, so the WIERD could rest assured it was more than understandable why so many people detested the re-make, obviously if they had re-made it a few years earlier before baldness set in, it would have been a box-office smash - a fact in itself interesting because of the vulgarity suggested in the fact that men with hair are supposed to 'get more action' and thus smash more 'boxes'...As ingenious as it is that Caine in the original is balding and looking for the 'missing hair', this problem today is no longer solved with drugs like Rogaine but rather with 'hair transplants', and quite appropriately following the hare-loss film was in fact an infomercial for repairing hare-loss, precisely what caine was trying to do in the film. Of course the WIERD understood if Caine had found the hair, there would be no need for the hare-loss infomercial following, but as he was still 'bald' at the film's ending, the infomercial would try a different approach.

The way IT suggested men now find hare is through hair transplants( also called restorations), which (apart from how lovely IT would be if every man who went to ITs doctor for such advice, walked in was given a small, cuddly hare and left - not politically like the film - but exited the pet shop where his doctor worked...VR) are said to be successful when you are no longer recognizable and the hair transplant is invisible. So in other words the best transplant is one which does not exist, quite like as the WIERD often says, the best cup of De-caf coffee or 'near-beer' is one which tastes like the 'Real' thing - the Lacanian term being crucial here, otherwise translated as IT. The unfortunate thing is the makers of the ad (after showing the 'after' pictures of the men who 'no longer look like themselves' because the 'transplant never happened') failed to then ask the men if they liked the remake of the Wicker Man, not so Very Rare, obviously the answer, unlike the men for whom transplants didn't work, would be they loved it as they were(unlike Caine) 'fullfilled' by the narrative in their mid-30's, and they got the hare back, and ere no longer themselves...

Obviously also brilliant in the vintage film's title is the emasulitating-literalized notion of The Wick-HER MAN - the fact that when one loses ITs hair IT becomes(as the ad suggested) less sexually attractive, thus 'feminized' to women. Question is how does the film deal with hare-loss in women? Again unanswered in the film the infomercial followed up by interviewing countless women with hare-loss who all suggested before they(again unlike Caine) found the hare, they(OBVIOUSLY the WIERD realized) were mistaken for men, and proceded to become re-feminized by 'becoming-women', so beautifully in fact because for once the 'lost-object-suggesting' phrase suggested by 'I became the person I always was' is LITERALLY true...They became the women they already in fact were. Problem is again unfortunately they now were 'unrecognizable as such...So in typical melancholy laden coldwave sadness, the second they 'become themselves' they immediately procede to then 'lose themselves into the WIERD world...as cursed recipients of invisible Dark Synth transplants...The IT sets in once again, and the bassline begins as the guitars sparkle like never before...Very Rare...

Pieter, Miss Liz, ans Martial Canterel Spin the inherent mysteries of Invisible transplants
Wednesday, May 16th, 10pm - 4am
(Italian Minimal Elektronik Happy Hour Midnight-1am!!!)
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
131 Chrystie St.@ Delancey
J train to Bowery, F to Delancey
info:(212)226-5708
http://www.wierdrecords.com/