WIERD Presents a Very Rare performance by THE SOFT MOON!
Wednesday, October 5th, 2011
Tonite WIERD welcomes the return of simply one of our fave bands in the world THE SOFT MOON from San Francisco for a live performance at midnight! The amazing Luis, Justin and Damon simply need no introduction at this point. The frozen hot, mesmerizing bliss of a rusted razorblade guitar scrape and synthburn shrapnel shower never felt so perfect as in their new trax which VRumours have it we may be so lucky as to feel a few flow over us this evening, so get there early and get yr sad little nervous systems ready to absorb the intensity, ITS going be a crazy one something tells me. See you all in the WIERD World tonite!
Ok no linkage this week cold kiddies I ran outa paste to stuff to cut and sniff, we have more VRimportant ITs to discusss...
Its safe to say hands down the best soft moon is a really great ass - doesn't matter who's your VRarin at - your boyfriend's, your mom's, your dog's, or your own on google as is more likely nowadaze(...ooh thats my best one 'LIKE')...whatever we all agree on this right? Good. So this morning within 30 mins. or walkin to the not-so New delhi on the corner I hear 2 different heated conversations about how " Yeah man, Yoga is the best way to get a great ass but(t)...", and then heres where I learn IT seems there's a bit 'o drama goin down in the Yoga underground - YOGAWARS, ITs on...the ass is the goal, or is IT? And how convenient thee locale for one of said wars is right around the pubus corner in the Bush, wack...SMACK, ow!...
So all these wirey new kids on the block who I thought were proper old school methheads are in fact the yogalords here in the hood, and according to overhearing them the VR drama is Bikram yoga is takin over the local scene, and they're pissed. They're like the grumpy old skuzzy grunge dudes when the faggy-fab electroclash kids skipped into town and glittered up, coked out, and turned off their Bud Light of the night. Bikram is this new-ish posery western-centric yoga I learned from them invented in the post-pleasure seeking '70s, and practiced in a not particularly vaguely froide room heated up to 105 degrees, that basicly has divorced mind and body and removed 'belief'/intentionality in general from the ethos, with the purely banal goal of physical fitness, kind of like a decaf yoga, or 'McYoga' as apparently its called, or most accurately of all: Yoga-without-the-yoga...VR. So I figure Hatha yoga to Bikram is kind of like Catholicism to aerobics, again here you stand up/sit down, spin around, wave your hands in the air, sing funny songs etc...and as with Bikram, the ultimate goal (as you stare up and kneel at the metaphorical soft moon of christ that is your aerob-teachers ass) is to lose weight. The interesting, and nicely 'rigorous' thing about each of these analogies is when you do Bikram for example you get rid of belief/tradition, and you do literally 'lose weight', as it simply makes sense - religion or belief ITself is pretty heavy, duh. So when you throw that in the trash with your Hindi happy meal of course you're 'lighter', perfect for the west no wonder ITs popular..."Would you like cash back with that sir?". Thank you please drive through...
So the WIERD is indeed driving through the WIERD World and internally babbling to ITself stuck in a brutal traffic jam an hour or so later...man if only Funk Master Bikram could be used abstractly to lose the wait behind this gnarly car assident ahead I been sittin here forever ugh, alas...so WIERD takes to the boredom of texting to make sure alls set for the Soft Moon tonite, gotta make sure that ass looks great in the google and is ready to party wild as ever mmm hmm. One of my new years resolutions for 2011 was to get a ticket for texting while driving, its actually really hard to do, believe me I've been workin on IT for over a year, and it allows one to play out a little wait-of-the-world-lost fantasy. Every time I see a cop I start ferociously openly texting, butt so far no luck or weight lost..."look officer I'm doing IT come to me!". Texting while driving is cool as its like watching a shitty foreign film with hackneyed subtitles - the windshield is the screen and the words are below scrolling across your fingers between your legs, all misspelled, confusedly abbreviated, and as classicly kinky as ever of course for if you get too into it you could end up dead. The ultra erotic thing about getting busted for texting while driving AKA hysterically applying subtitles to the Very Rare world is you get to feel the visceral bliss of none other than the law ITself saying - "...turn that off man, stop tryin to understand and make sense of IT all, ITs no use, theres no words allowed to deal with the darkness of the world...just feel it and deal, its gonna be ok." I can just imagine all dreamy eyed as Handsome Officer Bikram finally pulls the WIERD over one day and swaggers over to the Wierdmobile - "Sir, please get your hands outa yr lap, and keep yr eyes on the road boss, this isn't rocket science here, we're not in India anymore Toto. That'll be $75, would you like a monthly membership?, and BTW next time bring your own mat"...alas, so far no such luck.
Well one day maybe the WIERD's fantasy will come true at last, and ITs NYResolution realized. So though IT may not in fact be rocket science, fuck it we're goin to hit the SOFT MOON tonite kiddies...Heads up, hands outa pants...SMACK yesss give it a good SPANK, its gonna be another naughty night in the WIERD World! VR.
The Lovely Miss Jeralyn, Goutroy, and Frankie Teardrop Spin the fantasy Ticket to a Spectacularly Soft Moon!
Wednesday Oct. 5th, 10pm-4am
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
(Very Rare Live Performance by THE SOFT MOON at Midnight!)
131 Chrystie St. at Delancey, NYC