WIERD Welcomes the Long-Overdue VReturn of LED ER EST Tonite!

Friday, June 20th, 2012

As everyone knows from the apocryphal words of WIERD years past, ordering take-out to pick up, and then giving away the contents is the purest act of abstract art the world has ever known. Drifting along relishing in the memory of the sheer beauty of said act which IT engages every new years eve as a VRésistance cleansing ritual in the twilight hour, the WIERD was inordinately intrigued monday evening as its hands-down fave ultra-skuzztastic Russian liquor store in the BK is now proudly displaying a brilliant new fire engine red neon sign that reads: ?? ??????? ?? ?????????!, which I soon learned from a local Ruskie friend means "We Speak Chinese". Needless to say, this is Very Rare, and of course the WIERD had to investigate. Upon a bit of low level gutter-trolling detective work the WIERD soon was directed towards the stubby little muscley pervert Igor behind the grimy plexi barricade. "I" as everyone apparently calls him is a tiny hairy closeted queen who unliterally 'came out' recently from grumpily slumping around the stockroom when his mafiosova parents promoted him to manage the place last week. "I" speaks neither Russian nor Chinese, but word is he loves very young Asian boys. He also apparently enjoys the Professional Lingerie football league (I'm guessing as he thinks IT makes him look straight when his hulkishly drunk dad drops by to smack his twitchy plucked and primped ass into shape every so often) which as you all know held its annual all-star game coincidentally on monday evening as well, and "I" had IT on in the store when I arrived, blasting away in all ITs gender-dysphoric, castrato g-strings of death glory. WIERD scanned the mise-en-scène with a slowly cascading tracking shot, stopping the I-lens for a sec to ponder a crucial detail subtitling the opposition. Above the sticky spinning moneyslot "I" looks through as his lonely imprisoned POV on the cold western world there is a huge fresh poster for the new Heineken campaign, promoting the fact that Heineken is a the best import that is imported(...mmm hmm...). The WIERD could feel the chillingly kinky energy alive in the air, something was about to go down, and the stage was set for the wild hurricane of VR jouissance that was soon to unfold...

The game was tied, the tyrannically lesbo-sadistic bovine army in red had the ball, too bad there was only one or this woulda been a whole other story..."I" was slowly breaking out into a seethingly sweat flourescent lubes ablaze above to light up the stage, and then IT happened. The little beautiful smiling Chinese boy rode into the store on his BMX bike with a delivery bag. "I" paid for IT, the little kid pedalled away, and Igor suddenly let out a bloodcurdling shriek of Elizabeth Berklyian proportions, dashing into the back room in a hissified fit. Wow, intense. I didn't know what to do, I'm just standing there holding my dinner wtf...all I knew was I wanted a beer. "Hello? What's up anyone workin in here?"..."Yessir, so sorry so sorry oh my gud oh so sorry, can I ghelp you?"..."Yeah hi, whoa hey you ok dude? Yeah can I just get a couple Heineken's? Wow so that was an excellent game eh? Oh and and here's your take-out, really diggin yr new sign outside pretty hot man I with you on that one...oh wait it doesn't fit in the slot, what you want me to do?" VR.

And speaking of important unimported imports who've certainly done their share of questionable Wang-VRangling alone in the frozen shadows, this week WIERD proudly welcomes the long-overdue return of our beloved heroes LED ER EST for a live performance at midnight! This will be the shady Port Isabelian Bushwacked boys from Laredo via Portland's first live performance at the party since 2010, and they're midway through a string of 8 east coast dates playing trax off their latest crazy full-length The Diver and needless to say this is an uncommonly dusty homecoming of sorts for all of us. Old school WIERD in the house this evening ladies, I hope everyone will slide on in on the hot summer ice to party with NoEQ, kK and O.H.!!!

Thank you to everyone who came out to the WIERD/Show No Mercy Showcase last fri. @ Vitus for one of the most mindmeltingly explosive and confusing bills we've hosted in years!:

Miz Margo, Max Labor, and Frankie Teardrop Spin the Sinister History of Chinese Lingerie!
Wed. June 20th, 10pm-4am
(Very Rare Live Performance by Led Er Est at Midnight!)
WIERD @ Home Sweet Home
131 Christie St. at Delancy, NYC