The Whole Notion of the WIERD is actaully just a 'made-up' Suicide bummer...

Tuesday November 15th, 2005

So a friend of mine(who more and more I am suspecting is truly 'very rare', though more coldwave than dark synth) recently told me a story that was simply too brilliant to not be 'made-up'.  It goes like this:  She's on a cross-country flight, and as she walks to the front of the plane to get some lovely ladies magazines to do a bit of 'light reading'(thats for another week...) she is amazed to see Alan Vega from Suicide sitting two rows in front of her.  As she had a slightly dark synth childhood, she became quite starstruck and grabs her sell phone to 'text' her boyfriend, and she types in "Oh my God!  That Suicide guy is on the plane!  What should I do?!!!"  As one could imagine, her boyfriend interprets this to mean there's a terrorist on board about to crash the coldwave plane so he totally freeks out and calls the police and it turns into this huge mess that involves hours of freeking out at LAX amongst air traffic controllers, flight attendants, etc....amazing and truly very rare...

So I was quite inpressed by this story I must say, and my first reaction to hearing about the Suicide Bomber story was of course that the last time I 'saw' Suicide it was such a fukin bummer...My only suspicion was that she makes her living as a 'make-up artist'(no shit Im serious)...'complicated' I think to myself indarkness while under the black Satin sheets listening to my new Weimar Gesang' EP(...VRRRR).  So I decide to call her under the guise of thee club WIERD private investigative bureau and do a bit of interrogation...'Riing..'...'Hi dahling, how are you today?'...'Oh great...Oh, Im just waking up, are you 'making-up'?...'Yes' she says, 'Im doing Stanley's 'make-up'...'Wait, but don't you have to cut him open for that, as his make-up is inside of him, right?'...'No Chardonnay, its much more complicated than that actually, as I have actually 'made' Stanley 'up'...'Wow, so you mean he's not really there, or he's there but he's feeling slightly 'excited to see you'?'...'No Chardonnay, he can't see me because he's 'made-up', he only exists in my mind...'Oh, I see(then she cuts me off abruptly) - 'No you don't Chardonnay!!! - because you're made-up too!, everyone's made-up!!!, for Im the MAKE-UP ARTIST!!!'...'Well, so actually then you are not real either huh?, for as thee very rare genius Rene D. once proved, its ontologically impossible to 'make oneself up' '...'No way DJ Chardonnay, I'm making myself up right now, I'm putting on some way hot dark-synth green 'I-Shadow' '...'Well thats certainly convenient isn't it dahling, because every time you 'shadow' yourself, you thus become 'TWO', thereby allowing yourself to finally triumph in doing thee Impossible - 'MAKING YOURSELF UP'!'...'Exactly lady Chardonnay, Im glad you finally realized my genius after all these years'...'Yes Ms. 'Made-up', wow, now that I realize I can become TWO just with a little 'cover-girl' 'I-SHADOW' thee whole notion of Suicide seems quite impossible for me doesn't it now dahling???'...'Yes Chardonnay, I only like their first LP too...very rare and actually quite...WIERD...

Next week is the WIERD TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY, which very rarely is also my birthday, please mark your 'made-up' calendars!

Pieter and Glenn spin thee lost secrets of the coldest black 'I-SHADOW'!!!
Tuesday November 15th, 11pm - 4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and Supportiva Fonographica retrospective midnight - 1am!!!)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd
info:(718)387-3182