Your Handy Cap keeps the WIERD 18th Yamaha from ever 'Being' a Honda...

Tuesday December 27th, 2005

So Im lyin in my new very rare 'Queen Sized' bed half asleep enjoying the dark synth echoes of my fave Fox 5 newscaster and  the sexiest 57 yr old '90's woman' in NYC Roz Abrams make the truly allegorically brilliant 'announcement' that Fox 5 is 'Your Official School Closing Authority', when my new hasidic landlord glides into my house unnanounced on his way cool new Yamaha(and Im not talkin about the shiny little gray one on his head but his killer new 250 streetbike - no shit) to check out my very rare coldwave leaks in the ceiling and a huge drip falls perfectly onto his 'little' yamaha, I walk out half awoken out of my 60 tr old big booty Roz fantasy and he actually smiles and wipes his silky cap saying 'see Pieter, these things often come in quite 'handy' ', for whatever reason out of sleepywave mouth came 'Well Mark, guess yr a bit 'handycapped, eh?'...'Ha Pieter, thats very funny cause the hahdwaya storah guyah told me thats how i'd end up if Im not careful on my new Honda bike'(shit i thought, guess the WIERD cant always be 100%, how could he not have gotten a Yahaha, then realized why would he he already had one and it repelled the coldwaves from the ceiling so sad)...Yet how amazing would it be if he became handicapped while simultaneously being 'handy-capped, very rare needless to say, 'to become what you already are, seems like why everyone goes to therapy in the first place) ... This 95% accuracy of thee WIERD however ended up being quite productive though as I'd spent the day wondering what I could get my dark synth Dad for xxxmas and I remember him babbling on about 'lowering his handicap' and I knew I had to get him some new golf shoes, so I was off...I call 'Model's(...Very Rare, I can't start with thee 'of what as in classic tony Wilson style WIERd starts in 2 hours so dont have time this week...) and they say they 'carry golf shoes', thus I drive to the Models and walk up to one of the young men flilin to the new Usher track and say ' Excuse me do you have golfing shoes?', and he says amazingly with perfectly affected disgust 'I don't know yo, I dont play no golf!!!'.  So Im pretty annoyed as because everyone in NYC was still tragically trying to 'TRANS-thee-IT' it took me 1.5 hrs to get there and no dice, I couldnt resist - 'Oh yeah I didn't think so man cause with those fresh moves doesn't look like you have a handicap, and if you played you'd be way handicapped'...'What you talkin about man, noones ever got handicapped from golfin yo!' ... 'Naw man yr wrong, everyone(apart from my landlord but didnt seen appropriate to bring him up),  who golfs is handicapped, unless of course they're amazing like Tiger and then they're fine'...What you talkin about some special Olympics shit, thats shits fucked up exploitation and whatnot!'... 'No man the most fucked up thing was when that water fell onto Mark's head, so way more handycapped than any Special Olympics goldmetalist ever YO!'(he had no reaction to that comment apparentl, oh well) ...I tried to act all B-boy cool and confident but inside I was sad as I'd lost yet another very rare battle of thee WIERD for as he suggested true handicapped athletes are the only very rare few who(apart from Mark who told me the next day he doesn't like golf, to which I of couse replied, 'I dont believe you Mark as you just said you had a handycap...') after hole #18 can truly proclaim themselves to both 'be handicapped' and 'have a handicapped', and as once again simple algebra tells us they must thus 'have the 'be' '(if A=B and B=C, then A=C, very rare) ... and thus be free, and climb a tree, with you and me, and grow a beard, to be truly, and forever WIERD!!!!!!!!!(very rare) (and listen to Twilight Ritual demos) and....

Oh by the way think we're doin another big 'Happy New WIERD' party this Sun at Southside as the coldwave dancers are back!!!, stay tuned for confirmation!

Pieter and Glenn spin the new non-handycapped handicap YAMAHAWAVE !!!
Tuesday December 27th, 11pm - 4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and thee first ever Brazilian Wave retrospective(finally think I can do it!))
midnight-1am!!!
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent, Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd
info:(718)387-3182