Thee Weight of the World makes you Wait in thee WIERD...

Tuesday May 2nd, 2006

So as the A&R guys are battling over the new NYC kings of coldwave, this week WIERD welcomes Blacklist bassist Ryan Rayhill from into our rotting crypt of golden pleasures, so stumble on in to hear the guitars echo and soar like never before!!!

OK so I'm sitting on the train the other day amidst the chaos of hoardes of screaming out of control Puerto Rican kids and this old Chinese dude next to me turns and says, "man they gotta get these little shits some ritalin, damn..."...'Yeah totally man, i said'.  then I look up and theres one of these sad little fliers scotch taped to the wall that says 'Loose weight FAST!'...and I thought for a second something slightly WIERD was happening in this room which was about to become very rare.  This little 3 words were quite lovely it seemed for if you have 'loose weight'(ie cellulite/'flab') the obvious solution simply would be just to 'fast', thus this staement was just unabashedly true, ahh, excellent...
   Thing is this becomes quite complicated in the context of the kids in front of me...So the mid 80's saw the birth of the 'WAIT LOSS' world.  Everyone began trying to both 'lose weight' by eating healthy, no fat etc. and to 'lose wait', or maybe better put 'to lose having to 'wait' ', as attention spans shortened and Ritalin was invented as an antidote for ADH disease in children(hyperactivity).  The interesting thing to consider very rarely though is the fact that to this day ADH is attributed primarily to poor diet - too much MSG, saturated fats etc. cause kids to become hyperactive, and interestingly enough also obese.  As kids become obese thus they often become louder and more out of control(great thing is their physical mass increases literally in proportion to their 'auditory presence' - the bigger they get the louder and more intense their physical presence is)...so whenthey become huge their Moms unfortunately have to deal with 2 separate yet inseparable problems.  1. The bigger they are the more they've 'lost the(ability to) wait' in their ADH hyperactive 2 second attention spans BUT also 2. They really NEED to 'lose the weight' as they have much too much 'loose weight'...the problem is,the only solution to obesity as the little flier told me is to FAST, except in this case the kids are already goin so fast that this simply isnt possible, and giving them Ritalin only makes them 'slow down'.  So basicly these kids are totally fucked, for if they successfully lose weight they'll never truly 'lose wait' thus the abstraction of dieting,orperhaps better put 'DIE-IT' ing...for as thee golden arches of power ascend into the coldwave heavens, everyone needs to 'lose weight', but IF THEY DO so, they will never 'lose wait'...ah thee weight of the WIERD, abstract world, very rare...

Pieter and Ryan spin thee rotting black weight of the coldwave world...
Tuesday, May 2nd, 11pm-4am
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
(happy hour and free drinks for life if you can prove you've ever simultaneously 'lost wait' AND 'lost weight'!!!, midnight-1am...)
41 Broadway(Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg, BKNY
J train to Marcy, L to Bedfd
info:(718)387-3182